Chapter 43

A few months had passed and Sidney was having the best start of his career. Having a point or multiple points in each game was putting him on pace for a 100+ point season. Karen would try to not shut down on Sidney, but some days it was hard especially when she saw Natalie at work. Watching day by day and week after week her stomach getting bigger, knowing the end result was not for her. She prayed the rest of the day went by quick so she could head home and forget the day even happened.

Sidney had gotten home from the arena and walked into the house. He stopped by for some take out, thinking anything to help Karen would get her back to normal. Sidney walked in the front door and called for Karen. When she didn't answer, Sidney called again but started to walk through the house looking for her. He went into the kitchen and put the food on the counter. He was about to yell again when he saw the door was ajar to the patio. He opened it a little more and walked out, seeing Karen sitting on the couch staring out at nothing. When he saw the glistening off her cheek, he realized something happened at work.

"Baby?" he asked softy as he sat beside her. "Karen, baby what wrong?"

She wanted to tell him nothing was wrong, but she promised herself she wouldn't exclude him for her feelings. "Nat had a doctor's appointment this morning and came into work late. I guess she had an ultrasound and was showing everyone the picture of her baby."

"I'm sorry baby. That must've been hard for you."

"I tired to show happiness for her and everything but by lunch time it just got to be too much. I finished up my stuff and left, crying all the way home." Sidney put his arm on her back and rubbed it as she continued. "Some days I can put it all aside and come to terms with it, but other days I just want to stay in bed, under the covers and let this all go away."

"Would you at least come out and watch me play?" Sidney said hoping to lighten the mood.

"As sexy as you are in that uniform, it just might be the only thing" she said with a smile. Her smile soon faded "I'm sorry Sid, I'm don't know why I can't get passed this. I know our time will come to have our baby and I am happy for Natalie and Max, I just don't know why this hurts so much."

"Maybe it's time to go talk to someone impartial."

"Subtle way of saying I'm going crazy Crosby?"

"Not at all baby" he said with a smile as she called him by his last name "I've always known you were crazy."

"Be thankful that this is the calmer side of it" she said smiling back to him. "I just don't know if I want to drag someone else into this and hearing them tell me to just take it one day at a time and it will all work out in the end."

"Then talk to me. Maybe we could just talk and get it all out in the open. Would that help?"

"Maybe."

"Since it's not a game night and I did bring food home, how about we eat then build a fire inside and sit and talk."

"I think I would like that." Sidney brought her in for a kiss and pressed his forehead to hers when they broke apart thankful she was meeting him half way and wanted to talk. They got up a minute later and headed in to eat.

After they ate, Karen put the dishes into the dishwasher and headed upstairs to change clothes. Sidney followed her up and changed into more comfortable clothes as well, going back downstairs to wait for her. When she came back down, Sidney smiled at how beautiful she looked with the most simple clothes on.

"Don't know how I'll be able to concentrate on you when you look like that."

"Sid, you've seen me in this in how many nights. I wear this style tank top and shorts to bed every night."

"I know and how many times have I not been able to keep my hands off of you."

"Step one, make me feel better by complimenting me...check."

"Well hopefully after step two of talking, I could show you step three."

"We've been neglecting step three haven't we?"

"Maybe after tonight it will make a nightly occurrence."

"Nightly huh? Am I going on the road with you or are you staying home?"

Sidney just sat there and smiled at her. He brought his hand up and caressed her cheek "talk to me."

"I don't know where to begin really" she said with a sigh.

"All this had to have stemmed from losing the baby you were going to have with Rick, start there."

"You sure you'll be able to hear it?"

"If it makes you feel better and gets you through this, then yes, I will be able to hear it."

"I think it has a little to do with after I left here and moved to LA with Rick. When things changed with him and his attitude towards me and us. I felt alone and I guess in a way, I've never gotten over that."

"Do you feel alone with me?"

"Sometimes, but it's a different alone feeling. It's mostly when you go on long road trips. It's not the abandonment alone that he did."

"Makes sense" he said as Karen gave him a sad smile and put her hand to his cheek.

"Anyway, after that I tried to put on a brave face and hoped everything got better. When I got pregnant, I thought it would bring us closer together and fix us. I guess it pulled us further apart. For 8 months I thought of nothing but that baby and how it would be loved and a huge part of my life. Then when I lost it, I lost a lot more after that. I buried my feelings so deep because I knew it was really over between Rick and I. All that hurt from him and from losing a big part of me I didn't know how to handle it all. Shutting down made it seem easier you know" she said seeing him nod.

"I can understand that baby, but I was right here for you to talk to after that day in September."

"I know and I'm sorry for shutting you out but I wasn't sure how you'd handle all this. I was scared for you to know where this came from and I didn't want you to think I'm always comparing the two of you. I'm not and I never did."

"I know it's hard when your first true love hurts you like that."

"After I left him and until I met you, I've been on my own Sid. I've dealt with this sitting in a room for days until I felt like seeing people. I've cut off all communication for days, even weeks because I didn't want to hear all the 'how are you' from everyone. Then one day I did snap out of it, when I was ready."

"So you're not ready but I've been pushing you to be."

"You're heart was in the best place Sid. With not knowing all the back story you had no idea it would hit me like this. I know you're here for me, I know you love me and want me to get past this but like I said, I need to feel it on my own. You telling me to get over it and move on, just makes me bury it deeper and in the long run take it out on you. I don't want to take it out on you, I kind of love you and like having you around."

"The feeling is more than mutual baby. I guess I thought being tough would have snapped you out of it. I didn't think of the flip side to where it would drive you further away."

"I would have made my way back" she said looking into his eyes.

"How do you know?"

"Because our love is way more different then the love Rick and I had. From day one, you made me feel different about myself. I was hung up on our age and you didn't care and just wanted to love me. I think it applies now to where you don't care how crazy I get because you love me and know that's what'll win out in the end."

"I do love you Karen. How about I'll back off and let you get through this with the promise that you talk to me if it starts to get bad."

"I promise to try" she said smiling "but if I don't, promise me you'll just give me time and know that I will."

"Absolutely baby" he said bringing her in for a kiss. The kiss seemed to take on a life of it's own and Sidney scooted closer to Karen. His hand seemed to find it's way from her cheek to her breast and rested there for a while, lightly squeezing and massaging it. Karen managed to get up on her knees and move so she was straddling Sidney's lap without breaking their kiss. Sidney took the hint and moved his hands to her hips and held her tightly over him.

"You know this every once in a while needs to stop" she said breathless breaking their kiss.

"I know. We need to get back into the routine from when we were dating" he said getting a giggle out of her.

"I think the reason has always been that the end result I wouldn't become pregnant from it."

"That had to be hard on you baby."

"It was. I just love you so much that I want to give you the family you deserve."

"You are my family Karen and what I want or deserve is for us to be happy no matter what."

"We were happy before we talked about having kids and we will continue to be happy even after we do."

"Finally, a positive message coming out of that pretty mouth" he said getting them both to laugh. "Before and after every game, you have always told me the truth about everything. You were always so positive about how things turned out for me that you need to look in the mirror and do that for yourself."

"No" she said shaking her head "I need you to just keep telling me. Not that everything will be ok but something else and something positive."

"I think I might be able to do that" he said bringing her back in for a kiss. Karen broke the kiss again and got up off of his lap. "Where you going?" Sidney asked confused.

Karen just smiled and started walking towards the steps. Sidney watched her get to the bottom step and take off her tank top, throwing it towards his direction. She went up a couple more steps and stopped, bringing her shorts off her hips and down her legs. Karen went down a step and bent down picking up the shorts and throwing then over the railing. By now, Sidney got up and walked over to the bottom of the steps and saw Karen standing at the top of the stairs looking at him. She seductively ran her hands from her shoulders, over her breasts and down her stomach until she reached the hem of her panties, hooking her thumbs inside and pulling them down until they fell to the floor. Karen locked her eyes with Sidney's before smiling and walking to their bedroom. Sidney all but raced up the stairs and to their bedroom watching her climb into bed. He took off his shirt and shorts and climbed into bed and directly on top of her. Karen moved her legs so Sidney could fit in between them and he entered her slowly. There wasn't a need to rush through their love making and Sidney made it known by making each thrust last. Karen loved how Sidney was attentive towards her when they were in bed. Every touch, every kiss told her how much he loved her and loved being with her. Karen couldn't hold in her moans as her orgasm raced through her body causing her to arch her back and bury her head into the pillow. Sidney felt his own orgasm take over and he leaned down, kissing at her neck until he was done filling her up and collapsed on top of her. Karen wrapped her arms around his back as they tried to control their breathing. After a few minutes, Sidney removed himself from on top of Karen and laid down beside her, bringing her body into his.

"Can I ask you something baby?"

"Sure, what?"

"Were you angry when your parents died?"

"At one point, yes."

"Because they left you?"

"What are you getting at Sid?" she asked sitting up and looking at him.

"Well Rick left you and you tried to get over it, then your parents left you and that had to have been hard and brought back some feeling from Rick. Maybe there's a connection between the two."

"I never really thought about it" Karen said laying back down with him. "But my parents didn't mean to leave me. Rick made that decision a long time ago to leave me emotionally. I don't know what you could be getting at with this whole problem with Natalie."

"Maybe there's a similarity with Natalie deserting you on becoming our surrogate. Both your parents and Rick deserted you, Nat has too in a way." Karen laid there quiet and Sidney didn't like it. "Baby? I didn't mean to cause any more hurt with you but every time someone you love has left you, you've shut down and hid all your true feelings."

Karen sat up and hugged her knees "would you rather I be a basket case and let all my pent up emotions out?"

"You can let it out and still be rational and calm about it" Sidney said sitting up beside her. "Look at me?" he asked and when she didn't he brought his hand up and turned her face so she could look at him "what can I do to help you?"

"Don't leave me" she said as tears threatened to fall.

“Leaving was never an option Karen. I would have spent the rest of my life just being in the same house with you even if we never spoke again. You knew I was here when you needed me baby.” Sidney brought his hand up to her cheek and leaned in to kiss her soft lips “I love you."

"I love you too."

"Come on, let's get some sleep" Sidney said pulling her back down to the bed with him and made sure he held her all night.

At some point during the night, Karen got up and went to the bathroom. When she was finished, she was drawn to the French doors and opened them quietly and walked out onto the balcony. The fall breeze hit her and she wrapped her arms around her letting the tears fall again.

“Why can’t I get through this? Why is this so hard for me to except and get past?”

“You will in time baby girl.”

Karen closed her eyes and knew that voice. She opened her eyes and looked in the corner seeing a vision of her mom.

“What if I can’t? I don’t think my heart can take this?”

“Sweetie, you had your hopes and dreams right in front of you then they were ripped away in a matter of seconds. You have a right to feel this way baby.”

“But not for this long mom. I have never been one to dwell on things. I’ve always been strong to just cry and get over it.”

“Baby, this isn’t a bad grade or a rejection from a great college. This is something different. You’re married and have the life you’ve dreamed about.”

“Not sure how much longer that will last. I’ve pushed him away every time when he’s just wanted to hold me and tell me it’ll all be ok.”

“Well apparently you haven’t pushed hard enough if he’s still here for you. Sidney’s hurting too Karen and he needs the love and support from you that he’s giving to you.”

“I just want what you and dad had with me. I want my family complete.”

“Give your hearts time to heal and the opportunity will arise again for you.”

Karen looked towards the misty figure “I miss you and daddy so much. I’ve needed you so many times.”

“We’ve always been around baby girl. We were there the day you met Sidney. We were there when you got married at Mellon and at the church in Canada. We’ve been watching every moment giving you the guidance you needed.”

Karen smiled “hopefully you haven’t been watching everything.”

“Just know we’ll always and forever be here when you need us. We love you so much and couldn’t be happier with the choices you’ve made in your life. And when the time comes for you to bring a baby into this family, we will have a grandbaby to watch over as well. Daddy and I love you very much baby girl and know we are always with you.”

Karen’s eyes filled with tears “I love you guys too” she said choking out the words. She closed her eyes to let the tears fall and felt another breeze cascade over her body. Karen opened her eyes and saw she was alone on the terrace. She looked up to the clear sky and took a deep breath letting it out slowly. She went inside and looked around the bedroom seeing Sidney lying in bed. She walked over and got back in, curling up to his warm body and fell back asleep.

Karen had woken up and felt Sidney's side of the bed but he wasn't there. She laid there for a minute and then sat up suddenly remembering what happened last night. Karen got up and went to get dressed before going out onto the balcony. She stood there and closed her eyes but nothing. "It had to have been a dream" she said looking around "but was it?" Karen went back inside and went to go find Sidney.

As she walked into the living room, she saw Sidney on the couch with a cup or coffee and watching TV.

"Hey" she said softly.

"Hey baby" he said looking at her "you ok?"

"I'm not sure. Did you feel me get out of bed last night?"

"I don't think you did, but you could have and then come back before I realized it. What's going on?" Karen wasn't sure if she should tell him or not "baby, you're scaring me." Karen went to sit by him and smiled, really smiled "where is that coming from?"

"I guess I had a dream last night that felt all too real and for some reason, I still feel bad about what happened with Natalie but I don't feel like hiding and just crying all the time. It's weird, like all the hurt is gone."

"Ok how is that possible?" he said turning off the TV and looking at her.

Karen turned and looked deep into Sidney's eyes "I'm so sorry Sid."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Karen."

"Yes I do. You were hurting about all this too and I decided to be selfish not see that you lost your chance to have a baby too. I really never meant to shut you out like that."

"Sssh baby it's ok" he said seeing her tears. "I knew eventually you'd come around but was it our talk last night?"

"Some of it made me feel better."

"What else happened?"

"Will you promise not to laugh at me or have me committed when I tell you?"

"I promise" he said laughing.

"I guess I had a kind of out of body dream but it seemed so real. I got up to go to the bathroom and instead of coming back to bed, I felt drawn to the balcony. I opened the doors and stood out there and I kind of said to myself about not being able to get over this and I swear my mom appeared and was talking me through it. She told me time will help heal our hearts and that I needed to see you were hurting too."

"Well, people are known to get clarity through dreams."

"But when I looked back at the bed, I wasn't in there with you. That's how I can't really tell if it was a dream or real."

"You do seem to have this relaxed look on your face" he said looking at her and into her eyes. "Maybe it was real."

"As much as I believe in the afterlife and the supernatural, I hardly think last night was real. But in any sense, talking to my mom was what I needed. If she and dad were still here, I would have gone to them right after everything that happened. I think she somehow knew I was struggling and came to help." Karen looked at Sidney and saw his expression "I know it sounds crazy but it helped."

"Then it's not crazy" he said motioning for her to sit with him. "You on the other hand..."

"Don't finish that sentence or you will be using your other hand."

Sidney just smiled and kissed her head "yes dear." They stayed curled up for another hour before Sidney had to go to practice.

Chapter 42

Karen and Sidney got home a little while later after a long quiet car ride. Sidney tried to talk to Karen but every time he looked at her, she was staring out the window lost in thought. When they walked in, Karen went into the living room and sat on the couch staring at nothing. Sidney watched her and went to sit beside her.

"It's going to be ok baby. We can still look for someone else, we'll still do this."

"I know we will" she said wiping away the stray tear that fell "but it's just a shock right now. I woke up this morning happy and everything was going in the right direction for us, then BAM, in a blink of an eye the rug got pulled out from under us."

"I know baby" he said rubbing her shoulder. "We're going to get past this, just tell me you believe me."

Karen looked at Sidney with tears streaming down her face "I do believe you" she said. Sidney reached his hand up and wiped away the wetness off her cheeks.

"Good" he said as he let her lean into him so he could hold her until she felt better. After sitting there for what seemed like hours, Karen moved to sit up.

"I guess I'll go get dinner started."

"Baby, why don't we go out tonight?"

"I don't think I'm up for going out and being around people right now."

"Then why don't we pick a place and call for take out."

Karen smiled "that sounds good." They decided what they wanted and made the call. Sidney left to go pick it up and Karen stayed home, waiting for him to come back. She sat on the couch and thought about what happened and the tears flowed again. She wanted a baby and she wanted to give Sidney a baby so they could really feel like a family.

Sidney came back a little bit later and they ate dinner with limited conversation. After a while, Karen decided to go up to bed and left Sidney alone in the living room. He got out his phone and called the one person he could talk to.

"Hello."

"Hi mom."

"Sidney, I was hoping you were going to call. How did everything go today?"

"Not too well. It didn't happen."

"What do you mean it didn't happen? What went wrong?"

"We went to do the procedure and found out that Natalie was already pregnant with her and Max's baby."

"Oh Sid, I'm so sorry. How's Karen taking all this?"

"She's obviously hurt about it but I'm worried about her. She seems to be shutting down on me."

"Well it's got to be a shock to her right now. She had high hopes about all this and to be disappointed like that, it's going to be hard on her...and you."

"Mom, I'm fine about it. Yes, I'm sad and disappointed but I know we can try again or even adopt now and have our own later. It's just going to be hard to explain that to Karen."

"She'll come around Sid. Just give her time to come to terms with this on her own. You force her to face it too soon and it'll hurt more in the long run."

"That's what I'm afraid of. So you guys coming down for a few days?"

"Yes, we'll be down Friday and stay until Sunday. Don't want to wear out our welcome with Karen and how's she's been feeling."

"Sounds great but she may need the added company. Just think about it ok. I'll let you go and give my love to dad."

"I will and give our love to Karen, she needs it right now."

"I will and thanks mom."

"Anytime dear, night."

"Night mom" he said then hung up. Sidney got up and locked up before going up to bed. When he got up there, he saw Karen in bed and she was facing the other way but Sidney saw her shoulder shake as she was obviously silently crying. His heart broke knowing there wasn't anything he could do for her until she was ready to accept everything. Sidney got ready for bed and crawled in. He lied there on his back for a second before he turned and spooned up behind Karen and draped his arm over her body, holding her until they both fell asleep.

A few days later Sidney, Karen and his parents were sitting around eating a late lunch before needing to go into the arena. They were all talking about different things but of course the conversation ended up on hockey.

"Anxious son?"

"Not really, it's just like any other game."

"You know the nerves will set in about 30 minutes before game time" Karen said to get a smile from Sidney.

"You know me all too well baby" he told her to get a smile back.

"Why don't you guys go relax for a while as Karen and I get the dishes done" Trina said after awhile. Sidney and Troy went into the living room as Karen grabbed some dishes and went into the kitchen. She was starting to wash them off as Trina brought the other dishes in.

"Karen, I know you've been putting on a brave face for us but how have you been, really?"

"It's been hard mom" she said with a sigh and fighting to hold back tears.

Trina noticed her sadness and went to comfort her "I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean to start anything. I just wanted to know how you were."

"It's ok" she said wiping away a stray tear "I just can't help feeling like a failure right now."

"What did you fail at?"

"All of this. Being a full time wife to Sidney, not being able to give him his own child, thinking how much more is he going to take before he ends this."

"Karen, Sidney loves you no matter what. He's going to fight for all this to happen for both of you. When have you known my son to give up on anything? He tried hockey and never gave up, look where he is. He fell in love with you and with all of mine and Troy's pushing, he never gave up wanting to be with you. A lot of couples experience problems like this and you found a way to make it happen. Yes, it's going to take time, but it will happen for you two."

"I'm sorry, but do you know how sick I am hearing that from everyone? Sidney, my friends, now you. Yes, in time it'll be all fine and dandy. Yes, in time the hurt will go away. Yes, in time we'll find someone else to be the surrogate and finally get our baby. Right now, I get to watch my best friend be pregnant and know that the end result isn't for me like it should be. I want to be so happy for her and I try to put on a brave face when I see her, but I just want to avoid her and hope it all goes away."

"I didn't mean to get you upset honey and I wish I could tell you I know what you're going through but I can't. But you can't keep all of this bottled in, you need to talk to Natalie and Sidney. Tell them what's going on and how you feel. They're going to understand and not judge you for feeling like you should."

"Maybe you're right" she said getting a hug from Trina. They finished up the dishes and joined the guys in the living room.

A little while later, Sidney and Troy left to go to the arena as Karen and Trina would head over their normal time. Karen took what Trina said to heart but seeing Natalie at the game would be hard.

"Hey girl, ready to get this party started?" Sheril said coming in the suite.

Karen just smiled and walked over to her. "I love ya girl and you know that but Sid's parents are here this weekend and I need you to tone it down to about a 3."

"Oh all right, but if they're out of ear shot, it's game on."

"We really need to get your husband off the road and home more often."

"Or you could just set me up with a Penguin hottie and all will be right with the world."

"And you'll be cheating on Steve again. Do you really want to chance that again?"

"No, but a girl can dream. Wonder if any of them are swingers?"

"Oh god it's going to be one those nights" Karen said walking away laughing and shaking her head. As she went to get something to drink, Natalie walked in and saw her then looked down to pour her drink in a glass.

"So this is how it's going to be tonight?" Natalie asked as she walked over to Karen.

"No and I looked down to make sure I poured into the cup and not on the table."

"Karen, it's been weeks will you please talk to me."

Karen sighed "I'm trying to deal with all this Nat. Do you really think this is easy for me?"

"I know it's hard on you..." Natalie started to say but when most everyone was watching them, they walked out to the front of the suite and sat down in the seats overlooking warm ups. "Karen, listen to me. I know you're mad at me and you do have that right, but I need you to help me through this."

"And just push all hurt aside while doing it? Can you truly understand how this is affecting me? I was pregnant and loved the feeling and the thought of becoming a mom, then to have it ripped away so far into it, it took a lot of time to get over."

"I know it did and can't imagine how you got through it."

"But I did get through it in my own time Nat. I am so happy for you and Max, please don't think I'm not. We had this all planned out and then it just got ripped away from me again."

"I know. Just believe me that Max and I didn't plan this. After I decided to help you and Sidney and when we got home that night we had a huge fight. When I finally got him to see my side and how it was a good thing we made up" she said with a smile that got Karen to smile too. "I knew I should have made him wear a condom or pull out before..."

"Ok, TMI and don't really need or want the details" Karen said putting her fingers in her ears.

"Sorry" Natalie said laughing.

Meanwhile, down on the ice Sidney was stopped at the boards and was looking around. He looked up at the suites and saw Karen talking to Natalie. He smiled when he saw them laughing and knew they were getting things straightened out. Soon Max skated over to get Sidney's attention.

"Shouldn't you be focusing on these little black things and not the beautiful women in the stands?"

"You know there's only one beautiful woman my eyes focus on Talbo."

Max searched the suites and saw what he was looking at "it's good to see they're talking again. I thought this would make Karen definitely hate me and lose her best friend because of it."

"Karen was hurt by the outcome but her and Natalie's friendship has been through worse and they got through that."

"When Nat wanted to do this I was so angry at her. She put her feelings of wanting a baby for Karen ahead of wanting to start one with me, her husband. I guess after our fight and we made up, I guess deep down I wanted to make sure it didn't happen. I'm sorry Sid."

"It's ok Max. If the roles were reversed I would have done the same exact thing. Karen will be alright, I'll help her through this."

"I'm sure you will" Max said with a wink and a sly smile before skating off. Sidney just looked at Karen one last time before skating off himself.

After the game, Sheril and Diane headed home as Karen and Natalie went down to see their husbands. Troy and Trina had talked to Sidney briefly before Karen gave them the keys to her car as she would wait for Sidney and head home with him.

Everyone was leaving and Karen knew Sidney would be the last one as usual. When she saw Dana walk out, he told her Sidney was getting out of the shower and give him a few minutes. Karen smiled and nodded as she sat in the lounge. After a few minutes, she heard a noise and walked into the locker room.

"Hey stud, great game."

"Hey baby, I thought you left?"

"I gave my keys to your dad and decided to wait around for you. Can I get a ride home?"

"I'd love nothing more" he said smiling at her "but before we go, come with me for a minute." Sidney took her down the runway and to the bench. "I saw you and Natalie talking before the game" he said as Karen sat on the bench and Sidney leaned up against the boards facing her.

"Yeah, she approached me when I got a drink and it just went on from there. Everyone was watching us, so we went out to the seats to talk."

"Looked intense at one point but then seemed to lighten up."

"It did."

"So, everything good between you guys now?"

Karen looked up at Sidney and knew what he meant. She stood up beside him and looked out at the ice "I'm sorry Sid but I can't just turn my hurt off like a light switch. Yes, you saw me smile and laugh with her but that doesn't mean all the hurt went away with it. To see her and her stomach growing, that baby is not for me, for us" she said wiping away a stray tear. "I don't want to feel like this Sid. I want to be happy for my best friend. I want us to be us and be happy and make love every night like we used to."

"Well, not every night. We do need a break every now and then, that's why there are road games" he said hearing a giggle from Karen. "I'm hurting about this too baby but you see it as just you. I can understand you not being in the mood to cuddle or kiss, even make love but don't shut me out when I'm going through this too."

"I know" she said louder than a whisper. "I don't mean to but being without someone for so long, when someone or something hurts you this is how I've dealt with it. I guess for a moment I forgot you were there."

Sidney turned to look at her and saw the tears now flowing down her cheeks. He brought his hand up and rubbed her back "baby, I'm not saying all this to make you feel worse. This is the most we've talked about this and it took all this to bring it out."

Karen turned her head and look at him "maybe after you get back from your road trip this week we can sit down and find an agency to help us."

"I would love that" she said turning her and pulling her to him "but you need time Karen. Don't rush to find another baby to fill the void of us not having ours. Let's just curb it for a little while, let everything get back to normal for all of us and then we can start over."

"You're right. I don't want to end up hating an innocent baby if all these feelings return after adopting one. Why do you put up with me? I'm such a mess."

Sidney smiled "because I love you." He leaned in and met her lips with a soft kiss that got a little more heated as they stayed locked together. "Maybe we need to head home" he said after pulling away.

"I think we should. We have a little catching up to do." Sidney gave her another kiss and they headed out.

After they got home, Trina and Troy were in the living room watching TV when Sidney and Karen walked in. Sidney took off his jacket and tie, loosened a couple buttons on his shirt and sat down talking with his parents for a little bit. A little while later, Karen and Trina went off to bed as Troy and Sidney stayed up to talk.

"Karen been ok with everything?"

"She'll be ok. We got a chance to talk tonight before coming home. She's been on her own for so long, it's natural for her to deal with it how she's dealt with it all these years. It's a shock to us both right now."

"You know when you told me about wanting to have a baby, I did have my reservations but then I figured it would be good for you guys. You have your career to where you want it. You found a great woman to be with and to take care of you. I think having kids would be great for you both."

"Thanks dad, I appreciate it. I'm glad you like her."

"I do think of her as a daughter now and she's been good for you. Why don't you head to bed and get some sleep, need your rest before your trip."

"Thanks dad, love you" he said hugging him after they stood up. They headed upstairs and went into their separate rooms.

Sidney walked into his room quietly as he saw Karen in bed. She was facing his side and he smiled before going into the bathroom. He came back out in his boxer briefs and climbed under the covers.

"You and your dad have a good talk?"

Sidney smiled and turned towards Karen "yeah, he's always been there when I needed advice."

"Your mom gave me some and I know I was rude to her when I snapped back. I've apologized but I never should have talked to her like I did."

"She's knows how you feel and what's going through your head baby. I'm sure she knows you didn't mean it. But don't push her away either. If you feel like you can't talk to me, call her. She's a mom, she's been through everything. It's going to get easier with time, let's just see where it takes us."

"I love you. Haven't said it in a while but I do."

"Well I know I have said it and hadn't heard it back but you know I love you too."

Karen moved into Sidney's body as he wrapped his arm around her back. Their lips found each other again and this time, the missing passion had found it's way back to them, Sidney managed to move away and undress Karen. He threw her clothes on the floor and took his boxer briefs off before closing the gap between their bodies again. Sidney managed to roll Karen onto her back and she made a move to spread her legs so Sidney could fit. There didn't seem to be a rush from Sidney as he wanted to make sure this time meant something between them. Karen moved her hands over his back and around to his chest and stomach as Sidney would kiss over her neck and down to her breasts, lightly sucking on each one. Karen would arch her back, giving him better access as her moans filled the room. As Sidney continued his assault on her breasts, he snuck his hand down and lightly rubbed over her swollen lips, taking time to pinch her clit between his fingers. Sidney smiled into her skin when he felt her buck her hips up into his touch. He got a little rougher with the rubbing before sliding a couple fingers inside her slick opening. Karen's breathing got a little more erratic and she couldn't stop her hips from moving into the rhythm Sidney was doing inside her. He left her breasts and kissed his way down her stomach, soon replacing his mouth where his fingers had been previously. Karen let go of Sidney and grabbed a handful of sheets on both sides as the sensations ripped through her body.

"Oh god Sid" Karen said gasping for breath.

Sidney crawled up her body and laid on top of her, holding his hard shaft mere inches from her heated core. "You haven't felt anything yet baby." He just looked into her eyes and saw them pleading with him to do what he wanted. Karen leaned up and kissed him and Sidney pushed his hip forward and entered her with ease. Sidney didn't want to rush this as knowing the feeling of being inside her was going to make him explode in a second.

"Go slow Sid" Karen whispered as she felt him stretch to fit inside her.

Sidney smiled and kissed her "trust me baby, I feel no need to rush this."

The kiss lasted as he began to move inside of her, as slow as he can handle. Sidney would pull out, and push back in stopping after he was completely inside of her and holding there for a minute before repeating his actions. After a few minutes, he would go a little faster, picking up the pace and getting a rhythm going between them. Karen rubbed her hands up and down Sidney's back, stopping to dig her fingernails into his skin. As the sensations began to grow inside her, Karen moved her hands over his ass and helped push him deeper inside her. When her orgasm peaked, Karen dug her nails into the sides of Sidney's hips, letting out a soft moan as she came. Sidney kept up his pace until he came himself, then milked every thrust to get every drop out. He dropped his head into her neck and stayed on top of her until both their breathing slowed back down. Karen let out a sigh and then a tear rolled down her cheek. She went to wipe it but not before Sidney saw it.

"You ok baby?"

"Perfect."

"Then why the tears?" he asked wiping away the wetness from the other cheek.

"I guess I just didn't know if this would ever happen between us again."

"I'm sure we would have made love no matter what baby."

"Sid, the last time we made love after everything that happened, it was like a race to see who came first. It wasn't this passionate or emotional between us."

"I know and I had been afraid to even approach it so I never made advances until you were ready. I'm kind of glad it was after this long, kind of worth the wait" he said with a sly smile.

Karen smiled back as they met their lips together "I don't think we'll have a problem after tonight."

"Good, now get some sleep so you're not overly tired for tomorrow." They shared another kiss before Sidney rolled off her and brought her close as they drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 41

Sidney came home after practice and Karen was at home sitting on the couch watching TV. He dropped his keys on the table by the door and went to go sit with her.

"You know that hook thing hanging on the wall that ironically says 'keys'? It's a place to put your keys when you come in."

"I keep forgetting its there. I've always just put them on the table."

"And you've always found them on the floor because they end up getting knocked off."

"I know. I'll move them later" he said slinking into the cushions.

"Aww poor baby, did we have a tough practice today?"

"I swear, you'd think Coach Dan would take it a little easy on me since I did find him a place to live."

Karen just started laughing "are you serious? He might be grateful and thankful but that doesn't mean you'll get to slack off."

"It wasn't that."

"Then what?"

"He told Flower to take it easy on everyone else and when it was my turn in the shoot out he got me and I ended up losing."

"And the penalty for losing was..."

"Juice boy" he said whining. Karen couldn't hold her laughter in and let it out. "You think this is funny? Had to serve Gatorade to everyone and they didn't hold back on the ribbing." He saw her still laughing "will you stop, it's not funny."

"I'm sorry, really" she said kissing his cheek "is there other 'boy' positions?"

"Yeah but I think the coaches make them up as we go along. The one everyone hopes to not lose is mustache boy at the first practice of the month."

"Um, what?"

"If you're the last one to lose the shootout at the beginning of the month, you have to grow a mustache and keep it for the whole month."

"By the time yours would come in, the month would be over."

Sidney shot her a look then laughed "true."

"Maybe you just need to practice your shootout shots more often and trick Flower so you don't lose."

"Gee, why didn't I think about that."

"Shut it smartass."

"Hey, I have a question" he said picking up her hand and holding it "did Natalie say anything at work today about Max being in a mood?"

"Not really but she was acting strangely. She would talk to me and act like she wanted to tell me something but then backed off saying never mind or we'll talk later. What was Max like?"

"Like he was angry at me."

"Why was he angry?"

"Don't know, he wouldn't talk to me."

"Sorry stud, but I can't help you out since I don't know." Just then the doorbell rang and they looked at each other "your turn."

"I got it last time."

"If I remember correctly, we both got it together last time, so it's your turn."

"We need to come up with a better system" he said groaning as he got up to answer the door. When he did, Max and Natalie were arguing on the other side only stopping when they saw Sidney standing there "hey guys."

"Hey Sid, is Karen home?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah, come on in." They both came in and headed to the living room.

"Hey Nat, Max. What brings you guys here?"

"We, well I need to talk to you guys about something important" Natalie started.

"I still don't think you should do this Nattie" Max said interrupting her.

"Max, she's my friend and I want to help her."

Karen and Sidney just looked at each other "what's going on?" she asked.

"I want to help."

"Help with what?" Karen asked but saw Max throw his hands in the air and leave the room. She looked at Sidney and he just nodded and ran after him. "Nat, is something wrong?"

She sat down and was almost crying "he doesn't want me to do this."

"Do what? Nat, I'm sorry but I'm not fully understanding you."

Meanwhile, outside...

"Max, you know you can talk to me about anything. What's going on?"

"I know we're all friends but I don't know if I really agree to this."

"You're not making sense Max."

Max took a deep breath "Nat decided to be the surrogate to carry yours and Karen's baby."

"She what?"

"Ever since we had dinner a month ago, it was all she talked about helping her friend."

"And you don't like the fact your wife wants to carry another man's baby?"

"I'm sorry Sid. You know I would do anything and everything for you, but I don't know about this."

Sidney just saw the fear and concern in his friend's eyes "Max, I love Karen to death but I'm leaving this decision to her. They're friends, she might say yes to this."

"I want you guys to have a family Sid, I do but I don't know about you using Nat."

"Why don't we head inside and all talk about this ok?" Max just nodded his head and they went back in the house to talk to the girls.

Sidney saw Karen sitting on the couch confused and went over to sit with her. He just smiled and kissed her temple.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on" Karen said to everyone.

"Karen, we're friends and we've been friends for a long time now. We would do anything for each other."

"I know Nat, we're practically sisters."

"And I want to help my sister" she said looking to Max before looking back to Karen "I want to carry yours and Sid's baby. Let me be the surrogate."

Karen sat there in shock before the tears filled her eyes. She looked between the three of them and Sidney just smiled rubbing her back "I'm sorry Nat, I can't let you do that." She got up and left the room heading to the kitchen. Sidney got up and followed her with Natalie and Max behind him.

"Baby, this is a good thing. What do you mean you can't let her?"

"Karen, it solves all your problems of finding someone who you trust and won't ruin Sid's career."

"Why are you against this Max?" Karen asked in front of everyone.

"I love you Karen and value your friendship so much but I can't watch her go through this when it’s not my child."

"Max, it's not your choice?" Natalie sniped back at him.

"See this is just one reason I can't let you do this. I don't want to be the reason why you guys are fighting."

"Baby" Sid said walking over to her "what's really going on?"

"Nat, this is such a huge decision. Your body and mindset are going to change drastically. You have to really, really be sure you want to do this."

"Karen I am really, really sure" she said walking over to her "let me help you have that baby you always wanted."

"Can Sid and I talk about this and I'll call you later?"

"Absolutely" Natalie said hugging her friend "I want to do this, let me" she whispered. They let go of each other and Sidney walked them to the door. Karen stayed in the kitchen staring off into space.

Sidney came back and saw her standing there "at least its perfect timing."

"Yeah it is. I totally didn't see this coming Sid. She asked me how much longer I would be taking the pills and I told her I had about a week left not really meaning anything about it. I love that she wants to do this but I don't know."

"Look at it this way she's your best friend. We trust her and she's married to Max, she knows about keeping this entire private between the four of us. Who else would be perfect to carry our baby?"

"Out of all my friends no one. Sheril smokes and Diane is a lot older than us. Nat seems like the perfect match."

"Karen, what's wrong?"

"Everything will change for her Sid. Her body will change and her hormones will be off the charts. Her life will get turned completely upside down. Plus, a lot of people know she's married to Max. There's going to be talk that the baby will be theirs. What happens after she gives birth and oops, there's no baby for them to take care of."

"Maybe if all four of us can agree on this, we can go to the media and tell our story so everyone is clued in."

"Yeah good, tell all of Pittsburgh and the world that Sidney Crosby's wife can't give him his own child" she said before storming off.

"Not what I meant Karen and you know it" he said following her.

"I know" she said stopping by the stairs "I'm sorry Sid."

"Baby" he wrapped his arms around her "I love you and if you don't want Nat to do this, I'll call her right now to tell her. If we don't find someone else, then we have another option. I've said it all along, this is your decision."

"But I need it to be your decision too."

Sidney looked deep into her eyes "then I think we should let her help us."

Karen let a few tears fall "I think we should too."

A couple weeks later, Sidney and Karen met up with Max and Natalie at the hospital. Karen had an appointment a day ago and her doctor told her she was good to go with her eggs. She just needed to run a few tests on Natalie and they should be able to implant the embryos before leaving that day.

After the doctor examined Natalie, she went to put a rush on the tests as the four of them sat around the room to talk. Max was still a little weary on the idea but after talking to Sidney some more, he knew he would be fine helping out his friend.

"If you guys would excuse me, I am going to run to the bathroom before Dr. Johnson gets back with the results."

"Why not use the one in here?"

"I can imagine what goes on in a bathroom here and I think I'll use the public one down the hall." Karen left and headed to the bathroom. A couple minutes later, she was coming out of the bathroom when she saw Dr. Johnson at the nurse’s desk. "Did you get the results back for Nat?" she asked coming up beside her.

"Yeah I did."

"And, good news I hope" Karen said with a smile that soon faded when she saw the look the doctor gave her. She told her what the results said and Karen couldn't stop her breathing that had become erratic.

"Are you ok? Maybe you need to sit for a minute."

"No" she said calming down "I'm ok but are you sure?"

"I'm sorry Karen. Do you want to tell them?"

Karen shook her head no "I don't think I can" she whispered.

"Ok. Are you coming in?" Karen just shook her head no again and watched Dr. Johnson head into the room to tell her friends and husband the news. She thought about their reactions and saw a door leading outside. She took a walk to get some air and hoped for the best.

"Dr. Johnson" Natalie said as she walked in "well? Am I ok to do this for Karen?"

"I'm sorry Natalie but we won't be doing the procedure today."

"Is there some problem?" Sidney asked "Where's Karen?"

"She didn't want to come in."

"Oh no, what's wrong?" Max asked holding Natalie's hand.

"Nothing's wrong Max, but Natalie....you're already pregnant with your own child."

"I'm WHAT?" she asked astonished.

"You're 3 weeks pregnant so you won't be able to be the surrogate for Sidney and Karen."

"Does Karen know?"

"Yeah, I just told her outside."

"I need to find her" Sidney said leaving the room.

"Sid wait" Max said going after him "I'm sorry man, we didn't plan for this to happen."

"I know Max and Karen will understand too. Let me go find her and see what's going on." Max let Sidney find Karen before walking back into the room. He saw Natalie sitting there with tears streaming down her face.

"Nat, it's going to be alright."

"She is going to hate me Max."

"No she's not beautiful. Karen will know we didn't plan this to happen and will be fine after it sinks in. They can still find someone else baby." Natalie just leaned into Max's chest and hoped he was right.

Meanwhile, Sidney had found Karen outside the floor on the overlook. He walked over to her and stood behind her putting his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them lightly.

"Karen...."

"Don't Sid, please. I can't hear any words of encouragement right now of how this will still happen for us, or we can still adopt now and have our own later. I can't hear any of that right now."

"Then what can I do?" he whispered. Karen turned around and Sidney saw the sadness. He let her wrap her arms around his waist burying her face into his shoulder, letting her cry out what she felt inside. He wrapped his arms around her and held tightly not letting her go. "They didn't do this intentionally baby."

"I know" she said between sniffs "not like I told Nat to put Max on a 'no sex clause' until after the procedure."

Sidney smiled remembering their 'no sex clause' during the playoffs "I don't think Max has the same strength as I do to adhere to that." Karen lifted her head and smiled at him "this is another reason why you didn't want to use your best friend for this."

"How can I face her when I'm not going to want to hear her apologize every time she sees me? I know this wasn't intentional but it still hurts having a dream almost become a reality then have it pulled out from under you."

"Baby, she'll understand if you just talk to her."

"I don't think I can right now."

"Ok, how about I go tell her and Max that I'm taking you home and you'll call her later." Karen just nodded and hoped Natalie understood to give her a little space for a day at least. Sidney kissed her head and left her on the overlook. She turned around and looked back at the scenery of the skyline and prayed that everything would work out. Sidney found Max and Natalie coming out of the room and he told them what Karen wanted.

"No, not going to happen" Natalie said going towards the door until Max stopped her.

"Baby, let her have a while alone. She'll call you when she ready to talk."

"I believe she's ready to talk to me now." Sidney and Max just looked at each other when Natalie walked outside. They decided to leave them alone for a few minutes and went for a walk. "What the hell do you mean you don't want to talk to me?"

"Nat, please."

"I know you're hurting and I know you feel like I did this on purpose."

"I know you didn't do it intentionally."

"Then talk to me. Tell me this won't change our friendship."

Karen turned around and saw the look on her face "it won't Nat but how am I supposed to be happy for you right at this moment when we both were supposed to be happy."

"I know this is why you didn't want to use me to help you but I struggled with the consequences and still wanted to help you. Maybe after my baby is born, then we can try again for you."

"I don't know Nat, maybe the reality of this dream was for me to never have a child of my own" she said turning back around to face the skyline.

"This will still happen for you when you want it. Don't be mad at me Kiki, I'm going to need you as I go through this."

"I'm still going to be here Nattie, but please, at least give me a little time to process this."

"How much time?"

Karen shrugged her shoulders "maybe a week or two."

"I can live with that, but after three weeks and you don't talk to me, I will tie you down and make you talk to me then."

"Fair enough" she said hugging her "congratulations Nat."

"Thanks Karen." She watched Natalie leave her alone and saw Sidney standing at the door. Karen wiped her eyes and walked over to him. He opened his arms and she fell into them for a minute before they walked inside.

“I’m going to need to talk to Dr. Johnson for a minute before we leave.”

“Yeah, I think we need to figure out what the options are now” Sidney said agreeing with her. They left to go to her office and find out what they needed to do.

note from author

hey guys. sorry it's been a really long time between chapters. Just had a lot going on the last few years. I've decided to change this story up a bit. I'm going to concentrate more on the personal lives of Karen and Sidney and leave the hockey bits to a minimum. We all know what happened in the games, I want to focus more on outside the game for the rest of this story. Hope you guys understand and I hope I can keep it interesting for you to keep reading.

Chapter 40

A few days have passed and Karen was getting anxious. She hadn't heard from Dr. Johnson and was beginning to think it was going to be bad news. She still wanted a baby with Sidney and if they had to adopt they still would. The new season was nearing quickly and the home opener was now two weeks away. It was also two days passed from when she should have heard from Dr. Johnson. Karen was about to sit Sidney down and tell him what was going on when her cell phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hi Karen, this is Dr. Johnson. How are you?"

"Going a little crazy waiting to hear from you."

"I know and I'm sorry. I had a couple emergencies that popped up. I do have your test results."

Karen sat down and took a deep breath "and?"

"It's just what I expected, your ovaries are healthy and have produced a few eggs. We can help you produce a few more and I don't see a problem of taking your eggs and fertilizing them for surrogacy."

"Really?" she asked excited as the tears in her eye trickled down her cheek.

"How about we make an appointment for next week?"

Karen got up and looked at the team's schedule for practice "when did you have in mind?"

"I have two openings, one on Monday at 2p or Thursday at 11a."

Karen saw where Sidney had practice Monday but was off with nothing on Thursday. Even though she could wait until then, she wanted to get it talked about as early as possible so they could start finding someone to carry their baby. "I'll take the Monday one."

"Good. I will see you and your husband on Monday afternoon and then we can go over all the options for you both."

"Alright, thank you" they hung up and Karen finished letting the tears fall "now the only thing is to tell Sid" she told herself sitting back and wondering how to bring it up to him.

An hour later, Sidney came home from practice and saw Karen sitting on the couch lost in thought.

"Hey baby, what's going on?"

"We need to talk Sid."

Getting a little scared "what's wrong?" he said sitting beside her "did I do something wrong?"

Karen's face softened "sorry, it's nothing like that. Um, I had something done a few days ago and waited to hear the test results before I talked to you."

"You had something done and are telling me now?" Sidney said somewhat angry.

"Please don't get mad. It wasn't major surgery or anything like that."

"That makes it a little better but you should have still told me after it happened. What did you have done?"

"Before I get into that, let me start from the beginning. When I went in for my annual physical, Dr. Newman and I talked about a few things. I had mentioned that we were thinking about adoption and she told me there could be a way we might be able to have our own baby."

"How is that possible? Doesn't a hysterectomy take away your uterus?"

"It does, but I still have my ovaries. To make a long explanation shorter, my ovaries are still producing eggs because the hysterectomy didn't put me into early menopause. She sent me to a fertility specialist that same day and she ran some tests on my ovaries and eggs. They are still healthy and she might be able to take my eggs, fertilize them with your sperm and implant them into someone else's uterus to carry our baby to term."

"So wait, we would just need a, what do you call it, a surrogate mother?"

Karen nodded her head "yes. Someone who is healthy and we absolutely trust to carry our baby." Karen saw the thoughts processing in his head "well?"

Sidney sat there before a smile formed on his face "I think that would be the ideal way to have a baby, our baby."

"Dr. Johnson, the fertility specialist, would like to talk to us on Monday at 2p. You'll be home from practice before then right?"

"If not, I will talk to Coach Dan and I'm sure he'll understand to let me go early. We can have our own baby, I can't believe this is a possibility."

"I know, me either. Could we maybe keep this to ourselves until we know for sure?"

"I wouldn't want it any other way baby" he said bringing her in for a kiss.

"The only real question would be, who could we get if this all works out?"

"I don't know Sid, I really don't know."

Before long, it was Monday and Karen felt anxious all morning. She and Sidney decided to meet at the arena and head to the hospital for their appointment from there. Karen had taken the day off and tried to clean the house and do some other things before going in to meet with Sidney. At noon, she got something light to eat and then piddled around until about 1:30, leaving to go to the arena.

When she got to the arena, there were only a few cars left and Karen parked her car besides Sidney's going inside to find him. As she walked in, she saw him standing there talking to Max, who smiled when he saw Karen.

"Hot woman alert" he said pointing behind Sidney.

Sidney whipped around and smiled but then turned and hit Max on the arm "hey baby" he said giving Karen a kiss.

"Ok, what was that about?"

"I guess your hubby is still affected by being alerted to hot women that are pointed out to him."

"Is that right?"

"I knew he was talking about you before I turned around baby" Sidney said putting his arm around her as Max just walked away laughing.

"So Maxwell points out a hot woman and you just happen to whip around to see her huh?"

"Don't do this Karen. I love you alright" he said in almost a whining tone to not make her mad at him.

Karen started laughing "calm down stud. That just makes it better knowing if you do it, I can still do it." She leaned up and kissed him "and I love you too. Are you ready to go?"

"Definitely baby." They headed out and both got into Sidney's car. There were a few people out and Sidney stopped the car to sign a couple autographs before pulling out of the lot.

"I can't believe the first season at CONSOL is finally underway."

"I know, me either."

"You sound too calm there studly."

"I have other things preoccupying my mind right now."

"Are you ok with all this?" she ask cautiously.

"Karen, we have a chance to make our own baby. One that is part you and part me, not from someone we don't have any clue who their parents’ were."

"What if we spend time and a lot of money on this and it doesn't happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"If they get some healthy eggs and can fertilize it, there's no guarantee that whoever we get to carry it, it will conform to their uterus and become a baby. We have to know there is a 50/50 shot here."

"Ok, it's your turn to calm down. We can't think ahead of ourselves and wonder all the negative possibilities about this."

"I know, sorry." Sidney pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, turning the car off and grabbing Karen's hand "let's just go talk about it, hear what the doctor has to say and then go from there." Karen just nodded and kissed him before they got out of the car and headed inside.

They walked into the office and Karen signed in as Sidney went to sit down. The nurse came out a minute later to get them and showed them to the office to have a seat waiting for the doctor.

"Hi Karen" Dr. Johnson said coming into her office.

"Hi. Dr. Johnson I would like you to meet my husband Sidney."

"Sidney Crosby, wow, it’s nice to get to meet you" she said shaking his hand.

"A Pen's fan I assume?" he asked smiling.

"A huge one at that. My husband won't believe I met you. So, are we ready to discuss this?"

"I think we are" Sidney spoke up.

"I know Karen explained some things, but I'm still confused how this can happen."

"If a woman is not in menopause or anywhere close to it, age wise, her ovaries are still able to produce eggs. Since Karen had a hysterectomy, they only took out her uterus. From her check up with her own doctor, there was never any damage to the ovaries when she miscarried all those years ago. You with me so far?"

"Yes, go on."

"I ran a few tests on Karen last week and saw where she is still producing a few eggs but I want to put her on a fertility drug to help her produce a little more. After a time period, I will test her again and if there are plenty of eggs, I will extract them from her ovaries and we'll freeze them until we are ready to fertilize them with your sperm. This will also give you time to find someone to be your surrogate."

"Ok, I have a question. If you get a good amount of eggs, how many will you use for one time?"

"It depends on how many we get, but we do have both ovaries to pull from. We implant about 5 to give a chance that one will attach to the home uterus."

"So even then, it might not work" Karen ask worried and held onto her tears.

"Karen, I know this seems bleak and maybe hopeless to hear but there have been many cases out there of successful tries."

"We will do it as many times as we need to, to make it successful" Sidney said getting a look from Karen.

"Karen?" Dr. Johnson looked to her for her answer.

She looked to Sidney who nodded and squeezed her hand "yeah, I'm up to try this."

"Great" Dr. Johnson said with a smile "but I first need to test Sidney's sperm just to make sure there's no problems." She saw the look on his face "it's painless Sid and strictly routine. I know you're young and healthy and very fit so there shouldn't be a problem. Then after that, we can get you going on the fertility drug Karen so you can start producing more eggs, ok?"

"Ok."

"I'll let you two have a moment while I see if we have a room open for Sidney." Dr. Johnson excused herself leaving them alone.

"I didn't think I would be involved today."

"It's so they can tell you're fine."

"I know, but I figured it wouldn't have to be done until they were ready to implant it."

"You'll go in and either watch a video or look through a magazine and be done with it."

"Maybe she'll let you help me?" Sidney said kissing her.

"Why don't you try the other way first...just think of me."

Dr. Johnson came back in "alright Sidney" handing him a cup "if you could go into room 4 and fill to the line, we can go from there."

Sidney took the cup and gave Karen a look before going out of the office and finding room 4, walking in and locking the door behind him. The doctor talked to Karen about the pill she wanted her to take and the side effects that could come with it. She told her that they needed to abstain from sex and if possible, Sidney to refrain from masturbating until the procedure. Karen just laughed and said them abstaining is one thing, but keeping an eye on Sidney would be another. As they talked, a nurse came in and told the doctor that Sidney was asking to see Karen.

"I think he's having a little trouble. Would I be able to...”

"Yes, he's not the only one to go through this so you can help him."

Karen got to the room and lightly knocked waiting for Sidney to answer. He opened the door and pulled Karen into the room. "What's the matter?"

"I can't do this. Not that I don't want to, but it's not happening."

"Maybe I can help."

"She's going to let you?"

"I think they take it as a way to help the process along" Karen said stepping up to him and kissing him. She let her hand go down and rub over the crotch of his jeans. She moved up to unbutton and unzip his jeans, moving her hand inside "is this better?" she whispered.

"Oh god yes" Sidney said moving his hands over her body.

"Easy there stud, I can't help you that way."

Sidney removed her hand and pulled his jeans and underwear down before jumping up onto the table. Karen got in between his legs and kissed him as her hand found his cock again. She began to massage over him for a little bit until they broke the kiss and he lightly pushed on her shoulder to make her go down. Karen knew what he wanted and obliged. She leaned down and took him into her mouth, moving her head up and down on his cock. Sidney wrapped his fingers into her hair and grabbed ahold, helping her movements. After a few more minutes, Karen felt Sidney get thicker in her mouth and knew he was almost there. She removed her mouth and replaced it with her hand, moving it quickly over him. She saw a little bit of liquid start to emerge and found the cup. Sidney pushed her hand away and took over as he came hard, filling up the cup. Karen saw his breathing slow down and she took the cup from him, putting it aside as he pulled her in for a kiss.

"Thank you baby."

"Anything for you stud. I'm going to go take this to Dr. Johnson so you can calm down and get dressed."

"Ok" he said kissing her again before letting her leave him.

Karen took the cup and handed it off, as Dr. Johnson went and took it to run her tests. She told Karen to wait in the office and she would be back in a few minutes. Sidney came in to join her a few minutes later.

"I hope that satisfied you for a while."

"Why?" Sidney said in a 'not sure he wanted to know' tone.

"We have to abstain from sex until I finish the fertility pills she's giving me."

"Well, not like we can't do what we just did a few minutes ago."

"Um, yeah, we can't do that either."

"Damn baby, I thought this was going to be a visit full of good news."

Just then Dr. Johnson came back in "well Sidney, everything looks great on your side, so we just need to increase Karen's egg production and then go from there. Do either of you have any other questions?"

"I have one more."

"Go ahead."

"Instead of taking only a few eggs to fertilize for this first time, is it possible to take them all, freeze them so if this time is a success then we already have the eggs for future pregnancies?"

"If that is the way you want to go, yes we can freeze all of them, take only what we want and house the rest until you guys want to try for another baby."

"So, we can have our own child not only this time but in a year or two or later?" Sidney asked surprised.

"Yes, that's correct. Freezing eggs is a lot more common nowadays for couples who want kids later and not now. This increases the chances of pregnancy if couples have trouble on their own."

"Oh wow" Karen said shocked that they could have their family when they wanted it.

"If there's nothing else" she asked and both Karen and Sidney shook their heads "then here is the prescription for what I want you to take and when you are three pills away, call me Karen and I will make an appointment for you to have you retested and see from there."

"Thank you so much Dr. Johnson."

"Yes, really thank you" Sidney reiterated the sentiment.

"It was my pleasure and we will see each other again real soon. Sidney, it was great to meet you and hope the team has an amazing season this year."

"Thanks, we appreciate the support." They all shook hands and headed out. When they got to the elevator, Karen just stood there in disbelief.

"You ok baby?"

"Yeah, it's just seems so surreal that this could happen for us."

"Well, before we get too far ahead of ourselves we need to think about who to find to carry our baby."

"Yeah, I know. Who can we ask that we can trust?"

"We'll talk about it later baby." They got out of the elevator and went to the pharmacy that was in the hospital to get the pills Karen needed. After they were done, they headed to the parking lot and walked to the car. The ride back to the arena was quiet and Sidney didn't want to press anything until she thought everything through. He pulled up beside Karen's car and she leaned over and kissed him before getting out and into her car. Sidney let her go first and followed her home. When they got home, things were quiet as Karen went to start dinner.

"Baby, did you forget we made plans to have dinner with Max and Natalie? We made them a couple weeks ago."

"Yeah I guess I did."

"We could cancel."

"No, it’s alright we can go. Maybe getting a friend's advice on all this might be good."

"I thought you didn't want to tell anyone."

"I think Nat and Max could keep our secret. I know you will be there for me with everything that happens whether good or bad, but I need an impartial friend's ear as well."

"I understand baby, I might need Max to talk to as well. Might be good to have two to lean on."

"Yeah. I'm going to go get ready so we can head over."

"I need to grab a shower anyway...I feel so used and dirty" he said making her laugh. They both headed upstairs and got ready so they could head over to Max's apartment for dinner.

After getting to Max's, Karen and Natalie were in the kitchen finishing dinner as Max and Sidney were talking about the home opener and hockey in general.

"Well, we lost them Nat" Karen said as she watched the hand movements of both guys and knew what they were talking about.

"I don't think we've ever not lost them to the game. Max and I could be have the most romantic time and he finds some way to incorporate something hockey related into it."

"So, I have to ask this...did you and Max, um, incorporate the Cup into a sexual act when he had his day with it."

"Doesn't everyone?" Natalie just looked at Karen who was staring at her with a sly smirk on her face "oh alright. Max first took some, let's just say, explicit pictures of both of us with the Cup and after that, the moment just felt right." She looked at her friend when she heard her laughing "what?"

"It’s just funny how it never changes with them."

"Because that's what you and Rick did with it."

"Yeah but the only difference was he took the pictures, this time around I surprised Sid with them." They both smiled and finished dinner so the four of them could eat.

"So Sid, I have to ask. First a wedding, then winning the Cup, moving into a new house, a Gold Medal...what's next buddy?"

Sidney looked at Karen before answering "a baby."

Max and Natalie both stop eating mid chew and looked at their friends "are you serious Sid?"

"I am. We've both thought about it and we both want kids."

"Then why not later Karen? You just got married, isn't this rushing it a little?" Natalie asked her friend.

"Maybe, but I've always wanted kids Nat, you've known this."

"Karen, but with what happened in LA..."

"I won't be able to carry the baby, but through IVF they can take my eggs and fertilize them with Sid's sperm and implant them into a surrogate."

"And where do you plan to find one?" Max asked concerned "You'd have to find someone that hasn't heard of you" he said pointing at Sidney.

"Well that rules out Pittsburgh and the surrounding areas" Natalie said.

"And any city that has an NHL team" Max added.

"And that pretty much rules out all of Canada" Karen said getting a look from Sid.

"Are you three done?" he said getting a laugh out of all of them.

"Really Sid, I don't think we'll be able to find someone to trust that either doesn't know you or could keep it a secret" Karen said.

Sidney saw the concern in her eyes "I know baby, but there's got to be someone out there. We'll be picky enough and have a damn good contract."

"I think you should guys should slow it down and really make a good choice" Natalie offered.

"Natalie's right Sid, take some time and really think about who you want. The wrong choice could be damaging to not only your private life, but your hockey career."

"Look Max, I know you and Nat mean well but Karen and I know what we're getting into" he said grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

"Alright Sid, but just know I have your back and the first negative thing I hear, I will be kicking some ass."

"Thanks Max, I know I can always count on you" Sidney said as they all laughed then finished dinner. After dinner, they sat around talking and decided on a movie. When the movie was over a couple hours later, Sidney and Karen told their friends goodnight and headed home.

Getting home, Karen went into the kitchen and Sidney followed her. He saw her pick up her prescription and stopped her.

"What's wrong?"

"Could we maybe wait and you start those tomorrow?"

"What's going on?"

"I don't know. I guess just from today and everything, maybe it won't hurt having one last night together."

Karen just stood there "well it's not like we're really wasting anything. I mean you are young and healthy."

"That's my girl" he said pulling her to him and kissing her.